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| A Clerical Rhyme The Church Warden in the chancel stood, His staff was in his hand. "Who called the Priest a clot?" he said, Come up, before me stand. The Verger at the back he sat, His Virge across his knees. The words I heard were "clot a Priest, But surely 'twas not me"
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Forum Poster
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| The Priest stood in the pulpit, His face was very red. He rubbed his eyes with vigor, He'd just got out of bed. In came the Verger's daughter, Quite flustered, in a rush. She stumbled to a vacant pew, Her manner coy, she blushed. The Priest then started sweating, Wow, Taking something from his pocket, he had to mop his brow. 'Ere! That's not the Vicar's! Exclaimed the Verger's wife, It's our Paula's knickers, I declare upon my life.
He who laughs last is a fool for waiting so long!
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| The two old boys were both in their late 80s, and discussing the problems of age. One was bemoaning at length a whole series of creaks and groans afflicting his ageing joints. When he finally finished, his friend said "I feel just like a newborn baby." "A newborn baby?" queried his pal. "Yup," came the reply. "No hair, no teeth, and I think I've just wet my pants."
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Last Login: Today @ 09:08
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The airliner made a successful approach to Munich airport and a smooth landing. It completed the roll-out, turned off the main runway, and halted as if uncertain as to which way to go next.
The controller called him up; "Are you lost? Haven't you been here before?"
"Oh, yes, I've been before," replied the pilot, "but in 1943 I wasn't stopping."
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A caveman is sitting outside his cave, honing his flint axe, when his mate comes running towards him in a panic.
"Quick!" she yells. "You must do something! A sabre-toothed tiger has just gone into the my mother's cave!"
"Why should I do anything?" the caveman replies. "Who cares if a sabre-toothed tiger is in danger?"
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Forum Poster
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| At the holliday island airport, aircraft were queueing for take off, when the control tower gave a German Lufthansa 737 clearence for takeoff ahead of a British Airbus A320 which had been waiting longer, 'Why did you permit the German aircraft to take off before us?' demanded the British Captain. The German pilot heard this complaint from his British collegue and replied. 'Because ve got up before you and put our towls on zer end of zer runway. Ha Ha!'
He who laughs last is a fool for waiting so long!
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| A lady is sightseeing in Birmingham, when she comes upon a grand and very ornate gothic building near the city centre. 'What's that?' she asked a local woman. 'Oh, that's our Council House.' 'Aw fancy that!' she seemed impressed. 'My sister has her name down for one of them.'
I follow Him! ...and him...and him...and him.....!
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Forum Newbie
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| Why don't most cats shave? Becasue 8 out of 10 prefer Whiskas Mini
"The world is charged with the grandeur of God" GMH
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