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Forum Poster
 
Group: Forum Members
Last Login: 23 December 2008 07:31
Posts: 75,
Visits: 200
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| A man was driving along a lonley country road, and he was distracted by a bee buzzing around in the car. Mile after mile he tried in vein to knock the bee out of the sun-roof. So distracted was he that the car ran out of petrol. Motorist: 'Now look what you've made me do!' Bee: 'Oh sorry! Have I done something wrong old chap?' Motorist: 'You've made me run out of petrol, you stupid bee.' Bee: Oh, I'll go and get help, if you can get the cap off of the petrol tank it would be a help.' and the bee flew away. A short time later the bee returned with a whole swarm of bees, and they all flew into the petrol tank. After a few minutes they came out. Bee: 'It's ok now. You can put the cap back on and start the car. The tank is now full of bee pee (BP).'
He who laughs last is a fool for waiting so long!
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Forum Newbie
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Last Login: 03 March 2008 06:24
Posts: 19,
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| A man walking down the steet saw a garden gnome sitting on a toadstool at the side of a goldfish pond with a fishing rod in his hand. 'Are you a fisherman?' asked the man. 'No, I'm a Doctor actually!' replied the gnome. 'But you don't look like a Doctor?' the man was puzzled. 'Well, surley you've heard of The National Elf Service!'
I follow Him! ...and him...and him...and him.....!
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Forum Member
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Last Login: Yesterday @ 09:37
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"Grandad, can you make a noise like frog?"
"I don't know, but I can try - why?"
"Daddy says when Grandad croaks we can all go to Disneyland."
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Forum Poster
Group: Forum Members
Last Login: 23 December 2008 07:31
Posts: 75,
Visits: 200
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| Small boy on bus to mother in loud voice: 'Mum, why hasn't that man got any hair?' Mother wispers. Small boy on bus to mother in loud voice: 'Bald! What's bald Mum?'
He who laughs last is a fool for waiting so long!
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Forum Poster
Group: Forum Members
Last Login: 15 October 2008 15:24
Posts: 51,
Visits: 320
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It is Judgement Day. St Peter puts out two signs. One reads "All husbands who have been henpecked by their wives queue here". The other reads "This queue for husbands who have never been henpecked by their wives."
Very soon the line of henpecked husbands stretches back further than the eye can see. In the other queue there is just one rather weedy-looking fellow.
St Peter goes over him. "Why are you in this queue?" he asks.
"I don't know," the man replies. "My wife told me to stand here."
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Forum Newbie
Group: Forum Members
Last Login: 03 March 2008 06:24
Posts: 19,
Visits: 51
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| From an advert placed by an Alpine hotel hoping to attract English guests:- 'There is a French widow in every bedroom, and in the close village you can buy jolly memorials for when you pass away.'
I follow Him! ...and him...and him...and him.....!
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Forum Poster
Group: Forum Members
Last Login: 23 December 2008 07:31
Posts: 75,
Visits: 200
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| Two Alians arrive at a petrol station on the M11 at 2am. Approaching a petrol pump, the first Alian asks 'Please take us to your leader.' There was no reply. Then the second Alian had a go. 'We come to Earth in peace. Please take us to your leader.' Still there was no reply. 'No wonder they can't hear us' said the first Alian. 'Look they're standing there with their fingers in their ears!'
He who laughs last is a fool for waiting so long!
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Forum Newbie
Group: Forum Members
Last Login: 03 March 2008 06:24
Posts: 19,
Visits: 51
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| NOTICE TO GUESTS at a small hotel. Will any guest wishing to take a bath please make arrangements to have one with Mrs Henshaw.
I follow Him! ...and him...and him...and him.....!
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