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Forum Poster
 
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Last Login: 15 October 2008 15:24
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| That reminds me of that other famous sign in an Alpine hotel: "All water in this establishment has been passed by the proprietor."
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Last Login: 03 March 2008 06:24
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| A clergyman was to attend a conference in Brighton, and he collected his room key from the receptionist. A few moments later he returned to reception with a complaint. Clergyman: 'I'm afraid I have a problem.' Receptionist: 'We don't have problems at the Brighton Heights Hotel Sir, just advantages.' Clergyman: 'Well you can call it what you like, but there's a strange woman in my room.'
I follow Him! ...and him...and him...and him.....!
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Forum Poster
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Last Login: 15 October 2008 15:24
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| Another sign in a foreign hotel room: "We want that you enjoy your visit. If you wish extra in your bed please contact the maid."
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Last Login: 23 December 2008 07:31
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| A few years ago I was brousing in an antique shop, when I came across a boarding house tariff board from the Victorian age: Room 1/9d. Room with woman 5/6d (shillings of course). One wonders if there was a service charge or if tips would be in order?
He who laughs last is a fool for waiting so long!
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Forum Newbie
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Last Login: 03 March 2008 06:24
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| The Church Warden was standing at the church door looking at his watch. A large camper van arrived and parked in front of the lytch gate. A buxam young blond jumped down from the high driving position and started to stride up the tree lined gravel path through thr church yard. The Church Warden started shouting and waving his arms about. 'You can't park there Missie, I'm expecting someone very very important!' Unperterbed, the young lady continued walking towards the church door and the ever angry Church Warden, 'Christ! Is He comming? I spoke to Him about an hour ago and He didn't say anything!' 'You can't park there, I'm expecting the new Vicar!' 'Oh! OK! I know a lot of people in the clergy. What's his name your new Vicar? I may have seen him on the road.' 'The Reverend Tony Parsons, do you know him?' 'Yes, very well as a matter of fact. Tonie Parsons at your service, I'm very pleased to meet you.'
I follow Him! ...and him...and him...and him.....!
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Forum Poster
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Last Login: 15 October 2008 15:24
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One day little Johnny asks his mother "Mum, where did I come from?"
His mother can't help feeling he is still rather young to be told about the birds and the bees but she stops what she is doing, sits him down and explains how she and his father produced him.
Having made sure he understood what she told him, she finally asks "Why did you want to know where you came from, Johnny?"
"Charlie asked me," he told her. "He says he came from Yorkshire."
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Forum Newbie
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Last Login: 03 March 2008 06:24
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| Yes! Well, this is a true story as so many jokes are: A preacher's wife was walking in the park with her 4 year old son, when he ran up to a lady neither of them knew, a complete stranger in fact. The small boy started to tell the lady all about Jesus, and how He would save people who accepted Him as their personal friend and saviour, having been killed and risen again that the sins of man may be forgiven. 'That's very interetsing!' said the lady. 'But how do you know all this?' 'Bcause my Mum said so, and that's her hiding behind the tree over there.'
I follow Him! ...and him...and him...and him.....!
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Forum Poster
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Last Login: 23 December 2008 07:31
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| A Swedish girl, who was working in Surrey as a mothers' help, had only a two year old child as mentor as she planned her day off trip to London the following day. Not knowing the English word for train, she showed the child a picture of a railway engine. 'What is that?' she asked. 'Chuff Chuff!' replied the child. The next day she arrived at the local railway station and asked the man 'What time is the next chuff chuff to London please?'
He who laughs last is a fool for waiting so long!
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