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Forum Member
 
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Last Login: Yesterday @ 09:37
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Fred was walking across a high bridge and saw a man about to jump. So he said, "Don't jump!"
He said, "Nobody loves me."
Fred said, "God loves you."
He said, "I do believe in God."
Fred said, "Are you a Christian or a Jew?" He said, "A Christian."
Fred said, "Me too. Protestant or Catholic?"
He said, "Protestant."
Fred said, "Me too! What denomination?" He says, "Baptist."
Fred said, "Me too! Northern Baptist or Southern Baptist?"
He says, "Northern Baptist."
Fred said, "Me too! Northern Conservative Baptist or Northern Liberal Baptist?"
He says, "Northern Conservative Baptist." Fred said, "Me too! Northern Conservative Fundamentalist Baptist or Northern Conservative Reform Baptist?"
He says, "Northern Conservative Fundamentalist Baptist."
Fred said, "Me too! Northern Conservative Fundamentalist Baptist Great Lakes Region or Northern Conservative Fundamentalist Baptist Eastern Region?"
He says, "Northern Conservative Fundamentalist Baptist Great Lakes Region."
Fred say, "Me too! Northern Conservative Fundamentalist Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1879 or Northern Conservative Fundamentalist Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912?"
He says, "Northern Conservative Fundamentalist Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912."
Fred said, "Die, heretic!" and pushed him off!
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Forum Newbie
Group: Forum Members
Last Login: 03 March 2008 06:24
Posts: 19,
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| A customs officer at Dover docks stopped a Rolls Royce with Arabic number plates and questioned the liveried driver. Customs Officer: Why are you importing this vehicle? Driver: My boss want's it taken to Rolls Royce to be serviced. Customers Officer: (Inspecting the vehicles service record) but it isn't due to be serviced till early next year. Driver: I know that. My boss wants the ashtrays emptied.
I follow Him! ...and him...and him...and him.....!
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Forum Poster
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Last Login: 23 December 2008 07:31
Posts: 75,
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| True Story: A Rabbi was walking down an alley in Belfast at the height of the troubles, when he was accosted by two youths. First Youth: Are you a Protestant or a Catholic? Rabbi: As you see from my clothes, I am a Jewish Rabbi! Second Youth: Yes we can see that Father, but are you a Protestant Jewish Rabbi or a Catholic Jewish Rabbi?
He who laughs last is a fool for waiting so long!
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Forum Poster
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Last Login: Yesterday @ 10:36
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| I don't wonna go to church! I don't wanna go to church! My dear, firstly, you're 57 years old and secondly you're the Vicar!
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Forum Newbie
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Last Login: 03 March 2008 06:24
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The undertaker and his wife were a two car family. His & Herse!
I follow Him! ...and him...and him...and him.....!
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Forum Poster
Group: Forum Members
Last Login: 23 December 2008 07:31
Posts: 75,
Visits: 200
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| A recently dead person arrived in Heaven some 15 days late, and St Peter was astonished to see that he was using a Sat-Nav. 'Why are you 15 days late? We were worried that something had happened to you!' said the concerned gate keeper. 'I should think it has!' exclained the newcomer with some relief. 'I've been to Hell and back!'
He who laughs last is a fool for waiting so long!
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Forum Newbie
Group: Forum Members
Last Login: 03 March 2008 06:24
Posts: 19,
Visits: 51
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| Amos was a very good monk, he obeyed all the rules of his holy order, and he did all the things which he believed God wanted him to do. One day the Devil appeared before Amos and gave him three choices: 'If you want me to let you continue in your life as a monk, you must prove yourself by doing one of the following things.' said the Devil. 'You must either drink alcohol, sleep with a woman or skoke a box of cigars!' Well Amos thought carefully, and wondered which he could do without the Abbot finding out. So he decided to drink the acohol. First one bottle, then a second, then a third. Then he slept with all the women he could find in the nearby village and smoked himself to death with box after box of the finest cigars. When he got to Hell, the Devil appologised. 'Sorry Amos! I forgot to tell you about the side effects.'
I follow Him! ...and him...and him...and him.....!
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Forum Member
Group: Forum Members
Last Login: Yesterday @ 09:37
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