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Forum Poster
 
Group: Forum Members
Last Login: 15 October 2008 15:24
Posts: 51,
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 That's prejudiced stereotyping of an oppressed minority!
Just to get my own back, here (translated into layman's terms) is one of the traditional accountants' jokes:
In the days when all account books were kept by hand, John was a model accounts clerk. For years he worked quietly at his corner desk by the window. He was never known to make a single error in any of the entries he made.
To reward John for doing such good work for so many years, the management decided to move him to a much nicer desk nearer the centre of the office.
From then on his work went to pot. His mistakes were constantly having to be corrected by others.
The Chief Accountant asked him what was wrong.
"Well, you see," said John, "I'm now completely confused. Before you moved me I always knew that the receipts went in the column nearest the window."
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Forum Poster
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Last Login: 23 December 2008 07:31
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| On a nasty wet and windy morning, the prisoner and the executioner are walking across the prison yard to the place of execution. Prisoner: 'It's a terrible morning for it!' Executioner: 'It's all right for you my lad, I've got to walk back in this lot.'
He who laughs last is a fool for waiting so long!
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Forum Poster
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Last Login: Yesterday @ 10:36
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Why did the chicken cross the road?
Uh, too late!
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Forum Member
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Last Login: Yesterday @ 09:37
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Why did the dinosuar cross the road?
There were no chickens in those days.
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Forum Member
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Last Login: Yesterday @ 09:37
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A man was doing his first parachute jump. He pulled the ripcord, and nothing happened. He therefore pulled the reserve ripcord - still nothing happened. Now he was worried, and was wondering what to do when he saw a figure rising from the ground in front of him. As the man shot past he yelled "Do you know anything about parachutes?"
The voice came back "No. Do you know anything about gas cookers?"
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Forum Member
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Last Login: Yesterday @ 09:37
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Arising from my last one - if you are doing a parachute jump, the procedure is to count to 10, so as to ensure you are clear of the tail of the aeroplane, then pull the cord. If it doesn't work, you pull the cord for the reserve chute. If that doesn't work, simply cross your right foot over your left.
It's easier to unscrew you that way.
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Forum Newbie
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Last Login: 03 March 2008 06:24
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| John arrived at the pearly gates, and was met by Saint Peter. 'How did you get here? You're not due for another twenty years John.' 'Well I was very silly, I tried to climb the church steeple for a bet, and I just fell off and killed myself.' 'Well. I don't think you understand the problems you've caused. You can't come in here yet. Twenty years it sayes and twenty years it is. You see John, you can't stay here and you can't go back. What am I to do with you! .................. Are you any good at haunting?'
I follow Him! ...and him...and him...and him.....!
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Forum Poster
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Last Login: 23 December 2008 07:31
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At the infant school's nativity play, little Simon played the Inn Keeper. Joseph knocked on the door of the inn and Simon opened it, grabbed 'Mary' and pulled her into the inn. 'You can come in and you can't!' he said to Joseph, and slammed the door in his face.
He who laughs last is a fool for waiting so long!
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