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Forum Poster
 
Group: Forum Members
Last Login: 2 days ago @ 10:04
Posts: 63,
Visits: 126
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| A farmer was upset to find all his cattle frozen stiff on a very cold frosty morning. A little old lady appeared before him and offered her help. She rubbed the noce of each cow in turn, and they sprang back into life and started grazing. The farmer turned to thank her, but she had gone. Just then the local Squire arrived. 'I didn't know you new her!' 'Who? That little old lady? No I've never seen her before in my life!' 'You've probably seen her on TV actually!' observed the Squire. 'That was the ghost of Thora Hurd!' (thaw a herd).
He who laughs last is a fool for waiting so long!
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Forum Newbie
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Last Login: 03 March 2008 06:24
Posts: 36,
Visits: 51
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| Two flies are telling jokes: Two men are playing football in a suacer. 'We'll have to de better than this!' said one. 'We're playing in the cup next week!'
I follow Him! ...and him...and him...and him.....!
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Forum Poster
Group: Forum Members
Last Login: 2 days ago @ 10:21
Posts: 93,
Visits: 314
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An irate diner in a swish restaurant calls over a waiter.
"Waiter! What's this fly doing in my soup?"
The waiter looks carefully.
"I think it's the backstroke, Sir."
Rambling as usual
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Forum Poster
Group: Forum Members
Last Login: 2 days ago @ 10:04
Posts: 63,
Visits: 126
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| Headline in the Farmrs Weekly: 'IT'S NOT ROCKET SCIENCE!' said cow that jumped over the moon.
He who laughs last is a fool for waiting so long!
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Forum Poster
Group: Forum Members
Last Login: 2 days ago @ 10:21
Posts: 93,
Visits: 314
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Sign seen in an American bar:
In God We Trust.
Everyone else pays cash.
Rambling as usual
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Forum Newbie
Group: Forum Members
Last Login: 03 September 2008 15:07
Posts: 46,
Visits: 339
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Sign outside an American church
"A good Christian should be able to sell his talking parrot to the town gossip"
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Forum Newbie
Group: Forum Members
Last Login: 03 September 2008 15:07
Posts: 46,
Visits: 339
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Sign inside an American deli/diner.
"Unaccompanied children will be given a double espresso and a free puppy"
I asked if they had given any puppies away yet and was told no the kids were pretty well behaved round there.
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Forum Poster
Group: Forum Members
Last Login: 02 September 2008 22:04
Posts: 69,
Visits: 812
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Two men were exploring in the African bush when they saw a lion watching them a few hundred yards away. Suddenly the big cat began running in their direction. One of the explorers quickly slipped off his boots and took a pair of running shoes from his rucksack. "You're mad!" cried his companion. "You'll never run faster than a lion!"
"I don't need to," came the reply. "I just need to run faster than you..."
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